If you have no time to rest, it's exactly the right time. -- Mark TwainPerhaps ones of the hardest realities I face is realizing that I can't do everything in one day. Maybe it's the result of a life of trying to be a perpetual over-achiever: I feel that I must do it all, do it right, and do it better than anyone else has ever done it.
And then the reality fairy comes along to kick me in the butt to remind me that that is such a vain existence. I'm not perfect, and it's vanity to believe that I can be perfect through sheer force. Sometimes, things just are what they are.
I had a somewhat frustrating week: Things I thought I'd fixed got a case of the gremlins and un-fixed themselves, and a pile of work is slowly making its way towards me with the slow, deadly creep of a lava field. One of the highlights was Thursday afternoon, when I was supposed to make a presentation to a group at a meeting... I'd prepared all week, made some great slides, spent quality time preparing, only to have two-thirds of the audience get up and leave because the organizer took a break just at the point when it was my turn to talk. I'll admit: I pouted. I was angry, and I was tired. I can't guarantee I was a gracious as I could have been with the organizer when he apologized to me later. Whatever.
At least I got a free lunch and piece of chocolate ganache cake.
Since then, I've just been resting: took Friday morning off from the gym, and then just coasted the rest of the weekend. I skipped my Sunday morning long run, which, in the past, would have riddled me with guilt and constant verbal justification. But seriously: screw it. I was tired. I needed a reboot.
The rain has been helping. We're still in drought, but we got a few hours of rain this weekend: some of the first real rain the Island has seen since April. The brown fields are slightly soggy. The fires may slow down, I don't know. It was dark enough and cool enough to nap this afternoon, and when I awoke, the sun was shining again.
It was like I woke up on another day... like a freebie extra weekend day.
I'm usually so driven to pack so much into my time, but I don't know what it is right now. Perhaps part of it was a reminder from a video I happened to catch last week about the difference between "urgent" things and "important" things: Urgent things tend to be for other people. Important things tend to be for yourself... and they tend to be put last. The trick is to put the Important things first, because the Urgent things will always get done anyway.
So, I took naps, read some magazines, ate some cake. I actually made time to make an appointment with a different hair stylist to fix the run of terrible haircuts I seem to be living through these days. We went out a couple of times to pick blackberries. We downloaded Series One of Alias, which I've been wanting to watch for ages... Jennifer Garner is so awesome. I totally want to be just like her. I don't know what Ben Affleck is thinking, honestly.
And I knitted.
I'm about halfway through the front of my latest experimental top. The trouble with using yarns with such long, gradual colour runs is that I am compelled to ensure the pattern remains unbroken. I seem to have been lucky enough with my choice of yarn balls that this seems to be working out, even as I finished one ball and started another.
I'm hoping the two remaining balls I have will be just as cooperative. I actually bought the darker one, believing it to be a different colourway from the lighter one. It was kind of a cool surprise to realize they were the same. I'm still sort of haunted by the possibility that I might run out... but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
I think I'll go and knit some more. And I think I'll have some ice cream, too. What the heck, right? And tomorrow, I'll be ready. And I'll have half a knitted top, too. I'd call that pretty productive for a non-productive weekend.
Happy rest day.