You may not be a Picasso or Mozart but you don’t have to be. Just create to create. Create to remind yourself you’re still alive. Make stuff to inspire others to make something too. Create to learn a bit more about yourself. --Frederick TerralI've had a couple of tired days. The reality of giving someone one of your kidneys is that you are left with one less organ that did stuff for you. And the reality of recovering from donating a kidney is that you have days when you feel almost normal, and days when you don't. Luckily, the normal days far outnumber the not-so-normal days, but whatever day it is, you have to walk through it.
This weariness is different from any "tired" I've felt before. It comes on suddenly, and is so heavy that I can't do anything but sleep, and then get up, and then sleep some more. I can only imagine what it must be like to have chronic fatigue. For someone who is used to being active, it can be frustrating.
I found myself wanting to feel sorry for myself, but really, nobody wants to be around a grumpy so-and-so. I have been finding tremendous comfort and joy in my projects. I am grateful for the ability to create, because being able to bring beauty into the world is a wonderful thing. It reminds me that I am alive, and that, even though things aren't exactly "normal" right now, there's a lot I can do. And so, when I've been too tired to get up and make something, I sit down and make something. And when I can't do that, I look online for new ideas. And when I can't do that, I read pattern books and magazines for inspiration. And when I can't do that, I sketch cables, lace patterns, sweater shapes. And, even when that is hard, I lie down and fall asleep, dreaming of my projects...
Below is the result of these musings: a collection of materials I am going to use to make some embroidered fingerless mitts. I'm not sure exactly what they'll look like, just that I know they will be beautiful.
Today, I am inspired by all of the colours and textures that surround me that I normally take for granted. Being forced to stop and look has been a good thing for me. I hope I never take them for granted again.